Story of a Swimmer and the Value of a Hug

Here's one of many things I really like about working kids: they are completely unashamed and open with their emotions, even if they have very few ways to express themselves. That's why I think a hug from a child means so much - they don't have very much to give, but that is something they always have to give and it's the thing that means the most for them to give.

I have a little girl on my swim team who has been in my group for about a year. She's eight, but started when she was seven and has never been one of my "stand out swimmers."But she comes to practice regularly and usually has a smile on her face. Her mom says she struggles at school because she gets in trouble often for being too chatty and not paying attention. I see a bit of that at practice, but I also see how capable she is if she sets her mind to something and if she feels that she is experiencing success. It makes me wonder if she's not getting those challenges and that support in her classroom, or if it's just a different environment.

Anyway, her mom recently expressed to me that she was starting to see herself more as a "swimmer," and when other kids talked about their sports, that's how she defined herself. I decided that it was the perfect time to take advantage of this new view of her relationship with the sport, and I met with her to discuss goals. She shared some goals with me and I shared some with her and she said thank you, and walked away. Mom sent me an email the next day telling me how much her daughter enjoyed the meeting and walked away feeling like she had more of a purpose in the pool. Her performances at practice the next few days were stellar.

She swam both days at our meet this weekend and was really focused on each race and performed some of the best races and best stroke techniques I have ever seen from her. Each time she came to see me after a race, I had nothing but praise for her. Even on the race where her goggles fell off and she couldn't see anything for the whole lap, I had compliments for her for continuing to swim and finish the race and for doing her best despite obstacles. She was disappointed in herself after that race, and couldn't understand why everyone was saying "Good job" to her when she felt she didn't do a good job. I think she was able to understand later, but it was almost a good thing that she was disappointed because it showed me and her mom that her races mattered to her and that she cared about what she was doing. Instead of coming to me peppy after each race, she would come to me exhausted, out of breath, but smiling still.

After outstanding races again today, I made sure to compliment her again on a fantastic weekend as she was getting ready to leave, Skittles in hand for a small reward after the bigger rewards coming from her hard work. I was proud and I was impressed and I wanted her to know. Mom and Dad beamed at her and she looked proud of herself, which is my ultimate goal for every swimmer. As I started to walk away, she wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug; and I just squeezed her close, trying to transfer some of my belief in her into belief in herself and what she is capable of. But that hug meant the world to me because it showed me that something was working. The connection was being made and she didn't know how to acknowledge it besides giving me the best thing she had to offer: a big, grateful, joyous hug.