I think I need to stop a little

or I at least need to slow down. i'm a very idealistic person...i don't know when that happened, or if i've always been that way and just never noticed. i'm a daydreamer, i'm a wonderer, and sometimes that leads me to fall in love with the idea of how something could be instead of how it actually is. it's unrealistic.

let's think in simple and hypothetical terms. my mom tells me she bought me some fruit for when i come home. i think, "great! I can't wait to come home and eat some real fresh fruit." and i'll sit there and think about the best fruit i can imagine - a nectarine - and how sweet it is, and how the juice drips down my arm with each bite. i can almost taste it. i go home and throw open the fridge...and i find a bag of grapes. grapes.

now, i love grapes. but i forget how much i love them because of how high i've built up my hopes about coming home to a nectarine. at that moment, grapes are the most disappointing thing thats ever happened.

what i need to remember to do, is actually appreciate what i DO have, instead of getting so wrapped up in my dreams and wishes that i forget what value i've found in everything i already have. i should be grateful, not greedy. i think i need to focus less on chasing things that i want, and focus more on being thankful for what i have - let anything else that may come, come to me, chase after me.

i need to remember how much i really do love grapes.