I cried for a solid 40 minutes on my way home from San Diego. And even now, you could probably look at me sideways and I would start all over again. I don't want to be here without Ray. I hate having to force myself to drive away and leave half of my heart in a place where I want so badly to stay. I know it's only 16 more days until he's headed back up here and that's significantly less than the amount of days we just spent apart. I get that. But I don't want to wait anymore days. It's like a little heartbreak every time we pull away from each other and start yet another countdown. So tonight my heart is sad, and it might be tomorrow too. My drive to San Diego is such a different experience than my drive back to Los Angeles - but I want both to always be as fast as possible. On the way there, I can't wait to see the love of my life and explore. Coming home, I want to be out of the car as quickly as possible - like ripping off a band-aid - because the sooner the drive is over, the less I think about how stupid I am for driving away from the most important person in my life and the city that I adore. I'm going to bed now, because although leaving always makes me upset and is always hard...I'd venture to say half of that 40 minutes of waterworks was because I'm totally exhausted.
Back to the real world.
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