Ramble

Why do people talk so much?

Why does everything have to be given an explanation, before it is even asked for?

Why do we say things, and then immediately regret saying them?

Why do we have to gossip about other people's business?

Why can't people discern between things that should be said aloud and things they should keep to themselves?

Are we afraid of being judged?

Are we scared that we might say the wrong thing? So we ramble on and on until we hardly remember what we had to say in the first place.

What if we limited our words? Force ourselves to think before we speak. Consolidate. Be direct.

How many times do we say more than a person cares to know? Could we perhaps give the simple answer, and continue a discussion if further conversation is invited?

People think you're rude or stuck-up if you don't have much to say, or something is "wrong." And they talk about it. Talk talk talk talk. What if it was just accepted?

Ideally....

If you don't like someone, you don't like them. That doesn't mean you have to tell other people you don't like them, why you don't like them, and any gossip you may or may not have heard about them.

If you know two sides of a story, you know two sides of a story. That doesn't mean you have to make them one, it's not your job, and you may not know as much as you think you know anyway.

If you are unhappy with your situation in life, whatever that may be, do something about it. Don't whine and complain to others, or watch your life pass you by; deal with it as best as you can and keep your eyes on a brighter future, or, if it's something within your control, make a change.

1...2...3.

Simple as that.

What if everyone took those three seconds, placing them before every thought spoken.

How will what I say hurt someone else?

Is this the right thing to say in this moment?

Am I going to regret saying this later?

A Little Bit of Perspective

"He was a criminal for daring to want it, daring to risk everything for the basic human necessities, and now even those were to be denied him. It stank. It did. These people, these norteamericanos: what gave them the right to all the riches of the world? He looked round him at the bustle in the lot of the Italian market, white faces, high heels, business suits, the greedy eyes and ravenous mouths. They lived in their glass palaces, with their gates and fences and security systems, they left half-eaten lobsters and beefsteaks on their plates when the rest of the world was starving, spent enough to feed and clothe a whole country on their exercise equipment, their swimming pools and tennis courts and jogging shoes, and all of them, even the poorest, had two cars. Where was the justice in that?"

-Tortilla Curtain by T.C. Boyle

"Even after all this time, the Sun never says to the Earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that. It lights the whole sky."

-Hafiz

I am in love with this quote. Simple as that.

"Oh baby, baby, it's a wild world."

"It's hard to get by just upon a smile."

Calming a sore throat and some out-of-character emotions with a cup of tea. My bed does not have room for me to sleep in it. And I forgot to eat dinner.

However, I saw my first ever shooting star tonight. I didn't make some fancy wish on it, I wished my same wish. Just in case, you know. But I will take that as a sign. A sign of what, I do not know, but a sign of something and something grand. Because nature doesn't just throw around shooting stars for the heck of it.

Here's to some problems being solved, some problems being dealt with, and some new problems forming; also known as the craziness that is life.

A journal

i went out and bought myself one today. this blog has become more personal than i intended and there's just some things i'm learning that i would rather keep to myself. less opportunities to be hurt. more people read this than i would like, and to be honest...there are just some things that i need to write about that i would rather keep to myself. actually, there is a lot that i'm realizing i'm going to start keeping to myself.

i'm not done with blogging. but this is going to turn into more less personal things...more general thoughts and ideas about life, things I read, things I learn, people I encounter. things that have a little less insight into me and a little more into life itself.

A Deprivation of Sense

I just finished reading this novel - it was shocking, challenging, vivid, and moving. It's no wonder it was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature. It's like nothing I've ever read before. I wholeheartedly recommend it to everyone - the themes and the commentary stretch across the years and assert their relevance regardless of the time.

I was skeptical while on the first page, reading the work of an author who uses no quotations, relatively little line indentations, and excessive commas. But by page two, I was hooked; Saramago had sucked me in with his detailed writing. It felt like I was sitting on the street corner, watching the first man go blind and lose his primary means of sensing the world around him.

It's one of those books that each reader will get something different out of depending on where they are and what they are dealing with in their life. But it is books like this one that make me love reading so much more than watching TV or a movie; the story is so much better, and open to so much interpretation. It might not be a book to take out and read on the beach over summer (well, I would do it, but that's not to say it would be everyone's first choice), but it's definitely one to add to a "To Read" list.

Very, very thought-provoking to say the least.

It's one of those 'I refuse to do my hair' sort of days.

you know what i mean? i was lazy enough and i just sat and looked at it for long enough that not only was a bun and a head band the only thing i had any time for, but it seemed to be the only thing that was worth my time at all. i'm just very restless today, i've got a lot on my mind, and something like doing my hair just seemed so trivial. well, if we're going to get specific, even getting out of bed seemed trivial today, i could have been content with lying in bed and just thinking all day because that is truly what i feel like i need to do.

i'm driving myself mad though...with all this thinking. i suppose it's good for me to get up and go do things that have to be done, because it gives me a break from all this thinking. but then, it's not a total break because all it takes is one thing as a reminder before i find myself off in my own little world again, zoned out to what i really should be paying attention to. even as i'm writing this, i have various other windows open with lists of things i need to do and things i need to say, music that reminds me of other things, and my brain spinning around through it all plus some little side details. it's rather exhausting. i can't help but think it would be at least a tiny bit mellower without the 'final-month-of-the-semester' stresses.

i was supposed to be doing my quiet day today, but i woke up this morning and for whatever reason, i just knew today was not the day. i've been struggling with being alone with myself lately, and i knew that a day of isolating myself from communicating with my friends wouldn't be what was best for me right now. i've been toying with the idea of if me choosing not to do it on the day i had planned is really defeating the purpose. but i don't think it is. today is a day where i have a lot more mandatory communication than other days, which is one reason i think a day with more typical silence-fillers would be fitting. but also, sometimes you really just do have to take care of yourself first right? i could take that advice in more than one aspect of my life right now...but we know how good i am at taking my own advice.

you know what else is funny? say, you want to talk to someone about something. but you're afraid how they will react to it, or if they'll even be willing to talk to you at all. you come up with all the possibilities of what could go wrong in your head - they could get mad at you, it could ruin your friendship, they could see it as totally different than you do, you could totally mess up everything you wanted to say, etc. but if you try and reverse the roles, like if you say "well, what if [so and so] wanted to talk to me about this? how would i respond?" you know that none of those terrible things would happen. you wouldn't get mad at them, you wouldn't allow something like that to mess anything up, and you would be totally understanding.

but somehow that isn't enough to convince you that what you have to say is okay. what the heck. the human brain is so strange, well at least my human brain. sigh.