Control

"Control is never achieved when sought after directly. It is the surprising outcome of letting go."

-James Arthur Ray

i've been getting a sense of how it feels to be in control of situations that directly effect me...and the different ways in which that control can be gained. the funny thing is, the true method of holding all control really is to just let go. let go of expectations, let go of what once was, and live in the here and now.

You can't control anyone or anything in this world except for yourself. You may think you can control your boyfriend, your dog, your friends, but they all are separate entities and can at any point go against what you are asking them to do. that doesn't mean they will, but they can. and when that happens, people generally feel a loss of control over that person....but did you really ever control them to begin with? or did they decide in their head, using their own controls, that obeying you is generally a good idea? i'd be willing to bet on the latter.

why get angry when the driver in front of you goes super slow and then you miss the greenlight? can you control how that person drives? can you control when the light changes? it'd be really cool if you could, but you can't. so whats the use in getting angry over that...it's beyond your control. in all actuality, that anger over something beyond your influence is really demonstrating a loss of control over yourself, not the perceived loss of control over that driver or that light.

for example. i have an ex-boyfriend. everything about the downhill spiral of our relationship was initiated by him, and for so long, i had this unfortunate attachment to everything he did, feeling that i was under his control because i was just so overcome with all these emotions toward him. slowly i began to learn to piece myself back together to the point where first i could just manage my own being, and recently i've realized, i'm now the one in the position of power. i've moved on, i've secured myself in who i am and what i stand for, i've completely changed my way of thinking by letting go of what is our past and focusing on where i am mentally right now. i can't control what he does...but i can control how i respond.

"You cannot always control circumstances, but you can control your own thoughts."

-Charles Popplestown