Materializing Importance

i have a really hard time buying people christmas presents, especially people who mean a lot to me. i don't know why, i think i just put too much pressure on myself to get them something great and meaningful, and then any hint of an idea just escapes me because i'm so worried about it being perfect. so what happens? its almost two days before christmas and i'm still stumped.

but presents shouldn't matter right? i mean, i don't expect to get things from others, more often i would rather not...people don't need to spend their money on me. but i understand that it is used as an expression of feelings toward another person, and although not altogether necessary, it can be a nice gesture. when viewed in that context, obviously it shouldn't matter what you give to another person, the gesture in itself says enough. i feel that way about people giving me gifts...someone could give me something i may never use in my whole life, but i would appreciate it because there was definitely some thought behind it.

people say "it's the thought that counts." i think i'm getting to caught up in how big the "thought" is, rather than the fact that it is just there. i feel to big of a need to show people how much they mean to me by the greatness of the gift i get them, not necessarily in terms of price, but in terms of making sure i get the one thing in the world that i see as the most perfect for them. but why worry about making or buying a gift that says that, when i can use my words and just say it?

psh, easier said than done (no pun intended).