interrupted sleep

so here's this really weird thing. i haven't talked to, or let alone barely even thought of my ex-boyfriend in months. and in pointing that out, i'm not referring to it as a bad thing - it's been beautifully liberating. odd because for so long it was normal for me to worry about our post-relationship relationship...this has been really refreshing.

so here i've been, pretty content with my life that did not revolve around him in any way shape or form. but for the past week and a half he keeps showing up in my dreams! I usually don't remember the small details, but every time it involves him being down right rude to me, insulting my decisions in various aspects of my life, and doing his best to make me feel totally incompetent. he's mean. and dream-me knows that what he says carries no weight, but it still hurts to hear those things said to me or about people or things important to me.

he's never been that way to me in real life. and like i said before we haven't communicated in months. i rarely ever even think of him. so i don't understand where this is coming from. its really upsetting to me when i wake up. i was woken up mid-dream the other night by a text message...and instead of the usual disoriented "what's going on" feeling, i felt relieved. even half-asleep me could tell that it was an unusual way to wake up feeling. but i found myself wanting to stay awake until i was sure i wasn't going to fall right back into the same dream.

i don't like it. it doesn't make sense. and i would like it to stop. the end.