What a Week!

Well. I've wanted to blog like 800 times in the past few days, but sometimes, life just gets in the way. I've also done a lot of thinking about not posting stuff about my life on here as often, like I said in a previous post, and I'm kind of back tracking on that idea. This is my blog. I can still journal and have a blog where I post some things. Plus...when I write what I think, it's automatically an insight to the person that I am. So. Well. Let's just keep it as it was. Deal? Deal.

Some blurbs on my life as of late:

I told Claire Thursday morning that it was strange in my over 4 years of being a certified lifeguard, I had never made a rescue besides an active drowning victim. Then, with a terrible headache, we went to the Centrum that night and a girl sitting at one of the tables had a full blown seizure...and I was the first responder. It ranks up there with one of the strangest and most mind-blowing experiences of my life. It's taken me days to be able to process all of what happened, because all my actions were just so in the moment; it was like automatic. I didn't think, I just did. Now I've heard about that phenomena multiple times in training before...but hearing it is one thing, experiencing it is completely different. The adrenaline rush was like nothing I could describe. And try as I might, I cannot get the image of that poor girl out of my head. I wish I knew her, or knew more about her, so I could at least figure out if she was okay. But mostly...the whole time I kept wishing that there was more I could do for her but honestly, for seizure victims there is so little that can be done. Just waiting there with her for the paramedics was the hardest part.

And how aggravating is it that people have to be so SELFISH when something like that is happening to somebody else? What compels people to just stop what they're doing, and come watch like it is an entertainment show?! I'm an introverted person, truly, I see a lot of things that I don't like, but I lack the courage and am far too shy to say things (so I usually write it down here), but call it the adrenaline or the automated mode that I was in, but I have never been as straight-forward with rude people as I was that night. Like really, is it that hard to put yourself in the victim's shoes and think, "Hm, if this was happening to me, would I want a bunch of people standing around staring at me?" I don't think so.

So that's that. Thursday, prior to all of that, I went to a small group discussion with a retired Navy veteran and a member of the reserves for the Marine Core. It was interesting to listen to them talk about their experiences in war and how coming back was for them...but I was a little disappointed because both of them admittedly had ideal military experiences. They spoke about what it was like for others who were not as fortunate as they were...others who struggled with PTSD, struggled to resume civilian life, struggled not to lose themselves. I'm not ignorant, I know the majority of military members don't have that ideal experience, so I felt like I was being a little bit protected from the truth. I don't like that, big pet peeve. But! I'm not saying it wasn't a valuable experience. I'm very glad I went.

Today Osama Bin Laden was finally killed. I'm currently texting poohad about that, but that's got my brain going a whole lot too. What I'm gathering in my head is that I believe this is great for the morale of Americans and soldiers both home and overseas, but the possibility of a backlash is still scary. I think the world is the only thing that has the power to make me even the littlest bit pessimistic. Either way, my prayers continue for the troops. I'll refrain on much else about that on here, mostly because my brain is still processing a lot.

Once I finish my book for English, I'll have another post that has been a long time coming.