Eyes on the Future

I think sometimes, I forget that there is no rush on living. My perception between today and two months from now is easily skewed. The way I do something new now most likely will not be the same two months from now; the way I feel now may not be how I feel two months from now. If something's hard now, and I just give up and only think about how hard it is...well in that case, it will be the same in two months. Make sense? Maybe not. Let me try an example.

I just got my first car - a super cute 2001 red Honda Civic EX...manual. I don't know how to drive stick shift yet. But my thinking was, "Whatever, everyone says it's not too hard and I really want to learn anyway!" So I got in that car the first day and had SUPER high expectations...but I couldn't drive it. And I was soooo frustrated. I kept thinking, "I'm never going to be able to drive this thing. I can't even get it to go forward 50% of the time, and when I do it takes me forever. How am I supposed to drive this in traffic with other cars around and keep up to speed with everyone else? It's so jerky and I'm so slow at it and this seems pretty much impossible." Cue those sort of thoughts on repeat, over and over...

I sat down after a venting of my frustrations with my mother and she pointed out that this was my first time ever behind the wheel of a stick-shift. It wasn't supposed to be a piece of pie. But just because it sucked now didn't mean it couldn't get better. Not everything is just going to come to me like a gift, but if I keep practicing and don't give up after one crappy time, I'm never going to get better and I won't ever be able to drive out in the real world. But if I get back behind the wheel every day and practice, it's going to start getting easier and easier. Of course right now I couldn't imagine driving in typical traffic, but two months is a long time to improve. I'm already better - it's still frustrating as hell, and I still have a hard time getting started, but today was better than yesterday, and yesterday was better than the day before that.

I can't rush it. I just have to experience it. I think I can apply that in other aspects of my life too. I may feel one way about something, but if I acknowledge that it has to change, and continue to acknowledge it daily, it will change. But I'm no miracle worker, things like driving a stick shift or becoming less dependent don't happen over night. I have to remember that there is no rush. It will happen when it's meant to happen. And sometimes, I may not even notice the improvements until I look back and see how far I've come. Patience has never been one of my greater virtues, but maybe it's about time I learn some to save myself some of the frustration.