Thoughts of the morning

I just had the craziest moment of clarity ever. I'm sitting in my bed eating breakfast before I plan to go swim for this morning's workout, listening to music, and just kind of pondering life. Where I'm at now, where I will be in the near future, where I will be in the distant future, things I want to try in my lifetime...you know, the usual thoughts people have at 8am (ok maybe not).

And then I had this huge epiphany, and it came to me so clear and so obvious that it even brought a little bit of happy tears to my eyes. Everything I think about doing in my life, not just today but in the past as well, I unconsciously visualize me doing all of those things with Ray by my side.  That's how I know that I want him in the rest of my life, that's how I know he's who I want to marry. Every time I think about wanting to do something, I say to myself, "It would be so cool if Ray and I could do that!" Why? Not because I'm incapable of enjoying things by myself. I've proven that I can very easily do that and grow from it. No, it's because everything is better when he's there. Even if I'm living what feels like the best week of my life, like I did in El Salvador a couple weeks ago, I stop and think about how Ray being there with me would make it that much more incredible. He's the missing piece to my adventures. I want that piece with me the next time I travel. I want that piece with me when I move to San Diego. I want that piece with me when I start teaching. I want that piece to go hiking with me, to exercise with me, to relax with me, to go shopping with me, to be with me to make the rest of my life that much better.

Whoa, right? It's 8:30, and I'm already carrying that joy in my heart for the day. It's going to be a beautiful one. :)