Voicing to Others

In my 8th grade yearbook, my science teacher wrote:

"Speak up! The world needs to hear from you."

How funny that sounded to quiet, insecure, thirteen-year-old me. What could I possibly have to say that the world would want to hear? And moreover, in what world was I ever going to overcome my tremendous fear of public-speaking to be able to tell anyone anything?

The answer to that question, I now realize, is in this world. Yes, I used to get paralyzed when speaking in front of a large group, even a group of my own peers. It was a challenge that I felt I would never overcome. I struggled through presentations through high school and the beginning of my college career. I would sit back down after a presentation where my voice shook, my hands shook, and I stumbled over words I had practiced over and over again; and I would feel absolutely defeated. If I couldn't explain something to a classroom of people, how was I ever going to communicate with the world?

I attribute most of  my growth in public speaking to taking up Spanish with the intent to become proficient enough that I could call it my second language. I would say I'm half way there now, but it's caused a lot more changes in my life that I had ever imagined. It's made speaking English seem easy, not that it ever wasn't, in casual conversation of course. But what I mean is, getting up in front of a group to present something in my native language began to feel much less daunting, because I was confident in my abilities to speak without sounding like a fool. I knew what it felt like to not have mastery of a language, so suddenly it didn't matter who I was speaking to, or how many there are. I knew that I could do it. If I could do it in Spanish, although broken and fragmented, and have people understand me...then I could sure as hell do it in English.

So the first step was feeling like I could speak to a crowd. The second step was beginning to feel like I had something worthwhile to say. That one's been a little slower to develop, mostly because I was young and inexperienced. But as I'm about to graduate, I'm finding that I have things to say and things that I want other people to hear. And it comes from being passionate about what I'm doing with my life. This week I'm speaking at a Reunion/Informational Meeting about my experiences in El Salvador and at Chapel to talk about the same experience and the aspect of community service. And there's a lot more potential for me to do some more speaking - I'm meeting with a professor about the prospect of creating a proposal to add an international aspect to the Liberal Studies Undergraduate program. If it goes through, I'd be a strong force in that movement. 

But I'm not scared anymore. I feel like I have important things to tell people. Things that could make a difference. And the prospect of having the opportunities to share them excites me. That excitement is enough to overcome any nerves. I've finally come to the realization of what my science teacher was trying to impart on me 10 years ago; I just needed to understand how capable I really was. Then everything else just falls into place.