but still a little restless mixed in with that. its a confusing combination, and overall it just makes me feel a little bit too anxious.
i'm having a hard time getting myself to do anything, besides go to work.
but even this week, i'm putting off riding my bike, and asking for the car instead. i'm going out to do things with friends, and i definitely want to...but i'm doing it more because i need too. but in all honesty, i would much rather lay in bed and read. all day.
i'm a little bit put-off by some stuff too. said "stuff" can be quite discouraging and i think ends up deterring me from wanting to do other things. with some friends, i'm exhausted from being the one to put in all the effort, all the time. so i stop. but then, i feel like i end up not putting in the correct effort with the friends who don't do that either. its a very confusing thing.
i'm just at a very wishy-washy state right now. and i think i'm just waiting to see where i'm going to end up going next.
mentally that is.
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