The Ultimate Vulnerability

have you ever poured your heart out to someone about a matter that actually involves them? and by poured i mean saying anything and everything that you have left in your entire being to say to that one person.

well if you haven't, let me be the first to tell you, its exhausting.

and by exhausting i mean: terrifying, exhilarating, risky, empowering, stressful, lonely, satisfying, unsatisfying, horrible, beautiful, nerve-wracking, curious, intense, liberating, dramatic, reckless...and any synonym or any other word remotely related to those.

i feel it's the ultimate moment of vulnerability, and thats why its so hard for people to do. it's virtually like holding your heart out to that person without skin or bone covering it - you're abandoning all protection to be the most intense form of honest there is. but if you can find some comfort in the fact that its hard for EVERYONE, maybe it will make it just a little easier - not better, but a little less looming. i'll let you know if that becomes any more comforting to myself over the next week...i sure hope it does.

the only part worse than spilling your heart, is waiting for a response...or if there will even be one.

"There's no time to be holding it all in,

and trying to pretend that I don't feel anything

Oh I shouldn't have said I'm sorry...

I meant every word

Won't take back the way I felt about you

I can't unsay what you heard

'Cause you heard me right

And I won't try to fight back to hide my feelings for you

I unapologize."

-Carrie Underwood "Unapologize"