It is time

This is me. This post is a promise to myself that I'm going to work on my self-confidence, that I'm going to look past my imperfections and my flaws and realize that I can love myself just the way I am. It's never been easy for me to do that. I don't expect it to be any easier now. But how can I expect someone else to love me, or expect to love someone else, if I can't love myself first?

I'm back at school, and I think I'm at a spot in my life where things are going really well for me for the most part. I feel good about the way I'm living my life, and I think that is the first step in this process. I'm ready to stop saying I'm moving forward and actually start moving forward. I've always said that actions speak louder than words, but I have failed to put that into effect in my own life. Until today.

A young girl that I coached over summer sent me this text after we completed the last meet of the season: "You are the best coach I will ever have. Thank you for believing in me when I didn't believe in myself. Thank you it was so much fun, I'm thinking about doing it again next year." I love that I can inspire people in that way, but I feel like I'm missing a piece of the puzzle when I'm able to help others believe in themselves, but I don't believe in me. I feel almost hypocritical, as grateful as I was to get that text, and I realized more than ever at that moment that it is time to stop being stuck in this self-imposed mud and time to start crawling out.

I'm promising myself this. And there is nothing I hate more than a broken promise.