Friday night I couldn't sleep because I was just way too excited that everything had actually worked for once and he was actually HERE. After hanging out all day Saturday, I slept better than I have all summer - 12 hours to be exact. I felt like I was reminded of who I was; the person who I felt had been missing or lost for the last few months was still there. It was really strange, but I suppose I should have expected it.
I woke up Saturday morning, and it was like I'd changed overnight. I was confident in what I needed to do about everything I'm having issues with in my life. Guy I was dating? It needs to be done and over with. It was never a good idea in the first place, and I'm better off without that complication in my life. Issues with friends? I can't keep pushing those issues to the side forever, I need to acknowledge them, deal with them, and move forward with my life. Moving forward does not mean pretending nothing happened. It means growing and getting past any issues and continuing on with my life. How I feel about myself? I am okay. I was never not okay, despite how I've felt at moments through-out this summer. I just need to keep taking life one day at a time, and not letting the things that may prove relatively insignificant get me down.
Today was a little rough because he left. But the goodbye days are always the hardest ones for me. But I had to remember that all of those clear-headed thoughts that I had yesterday don't go away because he went away...those thoughts were still real and valid and important. And as always, I have a sad day on the day poohad leaves, but I'll be better by tomorrow and this time, I've got a new and improved attitude too. Let's hope it sticks around.
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