Selfishly Hurting

i'm afraid that i'm losing my best friend. and i can't stop it, or even slow it down.

it's like i can literally see our friendship plummeting head first into the ground.

i'm trying to help ease it along so that maybe the damage will be less, but i honestly don't know if i'm doing anything right.

for all i know, i could be making things worse.

i need a sign. i need some strength. this preoccupying thing isn't cutting it.

don't get me wrong, i'm so worried about him and all that he is struggling with internally. my last post still holds true. but i'm losing him. and i can't handle that. its not fair that she can destroy him, and then as a result of that, make me lose something that means the world to me too. he was my friend first...he saved me. you can't just let someone who's done that for you walk away. i don't want this hole in my heart again.

...and call me crazy, but didn't you once tell me you loved me? i'm sorry that that isn't enough...